The Story Behind My Blogging Hiatus

A blogging hiatus... yup, that is what I have been engaging in these past few weeks, or wait, who are we kidding, practically the past month!  Life has just been so super stressful this past month and honestly I have done a very poor job of handling it all.  I am going to share a little bit about what has been going on, not everything because well let's face it, if I air some of my dirty laundry out here in blog land it will cause way more drama than I am prepared to handle at this moment in time, but I also feel like I should explain myself a little... maybe those of you who actually read this thing can even give me some advice!

So the event that started my whole downward spiral into being stressed out beyond belief was that on September 11th one of my bridesmaids unexpectedly dropped out of my wedding and in fact will no longer be attending the wedding.  Needless to say I was devastated.  She said some really hurtful things to me and it is obvious that we will most likely NEVER be friends again.  I'm not even sure I could be in the same room as her at this point in time.  Granted I probably should have seen this coming.  Our friendship seemed to be going through a rough patch, but never in a million years did I think that things were this bad.  Now, I am not going to claim that I was totally innocent in all of this.  I will admit that I did make a few comments that I probably should not have, but honestly I never made them to offend her, I was just talking about weddings and wedding planning and I had NO idea that she was offended by some of the things that I said.  Until she told me that something I sad had offended her, I honestly had thought nothing of it.  In retrospect looking back I guess I could have changed the wording of what I said, but I in no way had ever intended for it to be malicious.

Part of what hurt the most about this entire situation was that someone supposedly told her I said something that I did not in fact say.  I am the type of person that if I said something I would own up to it.  I am not going to hide and pretend like I didn't say it... I will tell you to your face that I said it.  When she confronted me about the stuff that offended her, I admitted to saying it because well I had said it.  So doesn't it stand to reason that if I had said the other stuff that I would have admitted to that too? But apparently that is not the case. And I am apparently a fake friend and didn't care about her at all, so she will no longer be supporting me at my wedding to MD.  The fact that she thought I was a fake friend and didn't care about her at all is what hurt the most.  I have cared about this girl for so long... we have made it through so much together... and to hear her say those things hurt more than you could have imagined.  I spent almost 2 days crying off and on.  I spent 2 days calling all of my wedding vendors to change contracts around since I had planned on having 7 bridesmaids and now I was down to 6.  It was like ripping a band-aid off every time I had to explain to someone what had happened... and let me tell you IT HURT! I was really down in the dumps... I didn't even want to go to my own bridal shower which was on September 14th.  I was defeated.

Thankfully I have some of the most wonderful friends and family in the entire world.  The few that knew what had happened, because no, unless they read this post most people still don't know what happened, were so amazing and showed me so much love and support. The only people who I have told until now are the mothers, the wedding party, and 3 of my other close girlfriends.... who they have told I have no idea... but for the inner circle of people who knew what was going on, I never would have been able to pull myself out of whatever it is that I was in without them.  Even though I felt as though something terrible had happened and that I was a horrible person, I have been blessed with some wonderful and amazing friends who showed me how much they care about me and reminded me that despite what one person may think about me, that is not who I really am.  I can't let the way that one person is labeling me dictate who I think I am... I KNOW who I am.

In the end I am still hurt by what she said and that she is no longer going to be a part of my wedding.  But I also know that those who are still going to be a part of the wedding are some of the best friends that MD and I could EVER have asked for.  They are so loving and supportive and would do anything for us... and for that we are beyond incredibly blessed.  I know that although in my heart there will be a little hole which this bridesmaid left, that no matter what we will still have people there on our wedding day who love and support us and who will be there for us as we begin this new journey!

That being said, the other reason I have been on a blogging hiatus is also that the last month of wedding planning is SO FREAKING TIME CONSUMING!  There are just so many last minute little details to attend to that I think my head might explode.  We only have 16 more days until the wedding and I am not so sure that everything is going to come together... but hey, let's hope it does!

Today *NEVER* Get Any Easier

No matter how many years have passed since that fateful September day, this day NEVER gets any easier for me.  Growing up right outside of NYC, 9.11.01 was one of the worst days of most of our lives.  And there is nothing that can change that.  That day was terrible (you can read about it here...rereading my own post brings the memories flooding back even more and has reduced me to sobbing) and still sticks out in my mind like it was yesterday.

There is nothing like not knowing why your school suddenly went into lockdown mode.  There is nothing like finding out what was happening and then not being able to remember if your family had to go into the city that day for work.  There is nothing like not being able to get any cell phone reception so you can't even call your loved ones to make sure that they are ok.  There is nothing like the panic that went on in my high school that morning.  It is something that unless you have experienced it, you have no idea what went on.

I can't help but look at all the posts today on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and even in blog land.  Every picture, every post, every person sharing what they remember about this day brings tears to my eyes.  So many memories come flooding back and I don't even think that I can adequately put into words how I am feeling today.  Today will not be a good day... it never is.  Today will be an emotional day filled with tears as I remember what happened that fateful morning.

As tough as today always will be, today is also a day where I will continue to remember to thank God that my loved ones were no where near the attacks.  I will continue to pray for those who lost loved ones on this day 12 years ago and who have lost loved one since as they have fought the war on terrorism.  I will continue to pray for the men and women of the US Military who have given everything they have to protect our country and to give us the freedom that we all cherish.

I pray that as a country we never have to go through something like this again, but that even if we do that we come out of it all stronger than ever.

God Bless the U.S.A. and all of our Military Personnel

Great video from YouTube... we'll never forget.

Cara Box Reveal!!!!!

So I know I am late to the Cara Box reveal game, but this month I received my box a little late and since I received it I feel like I have had zero free time for blogging.  In fact I think my only post since I received it was a "Wordless Wednesday" post where I didn't really do much besides post some pictures from one of my bff's wedding.

So about this Cara Box.  The Cara Box Exchange was started by Kaitlyn over at Wifessionals as a way to "Make Friends... Receive Gifts...Share Encouragement" as her button for the exchange states.  My first time participating in the Exchange I was paired with Ashley from Our Mitchell Moments and Maddie from My Saturday Smiles.  All of us were newbies to the Cara Box Exchange and had no idea what to expect.  The theme for this month's box was "Seasons of Life" and we were supposed to make a box for our partners that captured the essence of who they are.

I had to send a box to Ashley and immediately upon e-mailing her I knew that we would become AMAZING friends.  Ashley was so easy to talk to and I loved hearing about her beautiful baby girl as well as all the other little things going on in her life.  We e-mailed back and forth A LOT and I really feel like I was able to create a box that was simply her... a box dedicated to her love for her family!

I received a box from Maddie who is a talented artist... you should check out her Etsy shop here... especially if you have little girls!  She has some phenomenal artwork that if I had a little girl I would totally love to put in her room.  Maddie is way more creative than I am and she definitely put together a box that will hopefully get my creative genes flowing a bit more!

My pretty bag of a box from Maddie!!

Contents of my box

My box included a little chalkboard that says "I love you because..." and some chalk so that MD and I can write messages to each other letting each other know why we love each other on any particular day.  She also gave me a journal and pen where I can write down anything related to MD & I.... so that we can remember why it is that we love each other and what it is that we are doing together.  I love that she decorated the notebook with red, white and blue ribbon as my favorite football team is the NYG.  I also got some really cute coasters that I plan on using during football season!  

Overall my first experience with the Cara Box was wonderful and I am looking forward to getting to know my new partners for the next box!  

Wordless Wednesday... Jersey & Buffalo Unite

I haven't done a "Wordless Wednesday" post in a while, and I also haven't done the post about AP (now AC) and CC's wedding yet, so I figured that there is no more perfect way to showcase their wedding than an "almost" "wordless Wednesday" post.  One of my Jersey bffs, AP, married her love from Buffalo, CC, on August 17, 2013 at the Greycliff in Moonachie, NJ.  I was privileged to be AP's honor attendant in the wedding, standing up there next to her while she married her best friend and soul mate.  Most of these pics are courtesy of my amazing fiance (I was in the wedding so ya know I couldn't actually take any pictures during the ceremony), but some of the ones from the reception are mine.  Enjoy!!

Something Blue... "I Do" on the bottom of her shoes

Me & the lovely bride AP before the ceremony

Ceremony Site

Cutie flower girls

AP & her Dad

So happy

Mr. & Mrs. CC!!!!

1st Dance

Me & my 2nd Momma... Momma of the Bride!

High School Ladies at the Reception

It was seriously such a lovely day for such a lovely couple!!  Wishing these two a lifetime of happiness together!!

Cheers to the Freaking Weekend

Yes, I know it is Monday and therefore the title of my post doesn't really fit... but that was how I felt about this past weekend.  It had been a long week and quite frankly, I was REALLY ready for the weekend.  Of course I had to work on Friday night and let me tell you, it was a HORRENDOUS night... I'm pretty sure I almost jumped over the bar and strangled a few of our customers, but in the end we ended up doing alright, plus I knew I had Saturday to look forward to so that was all that really mattered.

Besides Friday being a crummy day at work, it didn't start off that poorly.  The fiance and I officially made our FIRST MAJOR purchase together... WE BOUGHT A CAR!!!!! Despite the fact that I basically had two, yup... you heard me right TWO... panic and/or anxiety attacks (however you want to classify them) over buying it... we managed to sign the paperwork on Friday and now are the proud owners of a new 2014 Acura RDX.

Now you might be wondering why I had a panic attack over buying a car.  Well I will tell you why.  First, you all know, this girl doesn't do change well.  I like to list all the pros and cons of a major change and then I like to try to talk myself out of it despite the fact that the pros outweigh the cons.  Prime example... Pros of the RDX: roomy, safe, has a lot of pep, is a sexy looking car, easy to put down back seats, moon roof, heated seats, the list goes on and on.  Major con of the RDX: the gas and brake pedals feel strange.  Yes people, one of the reasons I panicked about the car was that I didn't like how the gas and brake pedals felt under my feet.  Irrational con, you bet.  Did it make me not want to purchase the car, you bet.  Am I crazy? You bet. The next reason  I was panicked was because come on people, this was OUR FIRST MAJOR PURCHASE TOGETHER.  MD and I have never really gotten anything together because well we were just dating... this is the first investment that we have made in our future lives together and that people scares me.  I know that MD & I are about to embark on the amazing journey that is marriage together, but it doesn't mean that I am not just a little scared about the future.  I know this is what I want, but like I said... big changes freak me out.

My new baby

Of course I already have the Bucknell magnet on it!

Sexy car... now to just figure out a name for it!

After getting over the shock of purchasing a car, and the horrendous night at work on Friday, I felt like Saturday would never get here!  I was excited for Saturday because MD and I were having people over to celebrate the fact that MD's best man bought us a keg-o-rater for a wedding gift.  Yup, that's right... a keg-o-rater as a wedding gift.  So of course the only natural thing to do is to have a party to break it in.

So Saturday evening a bunch of our friends came over and we definitely broke that baby in.  We all had an awesome time and it was great to get to just relax at home with some of our favorite people.  We of course stayed up way too late, drank way too much, and on Sunday we were reminded of the fact that we are definitely NOT 21 anymore and cannot party like we used to.  All in all it was a successful party, but next time... I will not be drinking so much beer nor will I be taking shots like I am a sorority girl out at the bar in college.  No way... I have learned my lesson... I think.

Keg-o-Rater all ready to go

Lovers excited for our party

Awesome gift from the Best Man

Bridesmaid Love

The Tustin Sisters made it!!

How was your weekend?  Do anything different?

Grandma's Cooking... Peach Crunch

I feel like it has been a really long time since I have posted a recipe on here... and I LOVE to cook, so you would think that I would want to share my recipes with people... especially those family recipes that I just can't get enough of!

Last week when I was grocery shopping the peaches looked FAB-U-LOUS so I decided to get some and that I would try my hand at making my Gram's peach crunch recipe.  I have no idea where she got the recipe from, all I know is that it is SUPER SIMPLE and tastes DELICIOUS.

Peaches sliced on the bottom of the baking dish

Flour, Sugar, Baking Powder, Egg, salt

Mixed together with a fork

Poured over the peaches, sprinkle with cinnamon and drizzle with oil

Finished Product

Gram's Peach Crunch Recipe

Ingredients

Peaches (2-4 depending on the size of the peaches)

1 c. sifted flour

1 c. sugar

1 tsp. baking powder

1 unbeaten egg

3/4 tsp. salt

1/4 c. oil

Cinnamon

Directions

Preheat oven to 350.

Slice peaches and put on the bottom of a 8x8 square baking dish

Mix together dry ingredients plus the egg with a fork until crumbly.

Sprinkle mixture over peaches.

Drizzle oil over top of mixture.

Sprinkle with cinnamon.

Bake 30-40 minutes or until it looks golden brown around the edges

*Note: Peaches can be replaced with apples, blueberries or any other fruit you feel like trying with it.* 

Relaxing at the Lake

Over the weekend MD and I headed to Lake Wallenpaupack for some relaxation and wedding party bonding with some of our favorite people in the world.  We both worked on Friday night so of course Saturday morning came WAYYYYY too early.  Thankfully the weather wasn't too bad so that we could take MD's car... he tried to fix his defroster and managed to make something else stop working in the process so his air is all screwed up and only blows cold air on one side of the car.  I had said that I would drive, but in reality I was exhausted and really didn't want to have to worry about finding our way out there.

The drive was pretty easy... minus getting stuck behind some tree trucks...then a slow moving van... then some old people from Florida.  I swear we could have gotten there at least half an hour earlier had people known how to drive.  Or maybe it was just the fact that I was sleep deprived talking and we would have gotten there around the same time anyway.

Gorgeous view of the Lake from the deck of the house

Once we got there we spent a lot of time catching up.  My one bridesmaid, VM, was there and since she normally lives in AZ we don't get to see each other often and we had a TON of catching up to do.  Plus we were waiting for Mr. & Mrs. V to get there so that we could all go out on the boat.  They were a little late in arriving as they followed ML's directions to the lake and of course he told them to take 22W when they really needed to take 22E... good job ML, good job!

As soon as the V's got there we had a quick lunch, filled a cooler with some beer and headed out to boat to do some drinking on the Lake.  We spent quite a bit of time out on the boat and even went for a swim!  Obviously I was the 1st girl to get in the water... what can I say, I have no fear of jumping off the side of a boat into a Lake.

After the boat ride we headed back to the house to get our drink on.  Of course the boys had set up a make shift pong table on the deck... we had a cooler of delicious beer and it was time to just RELAX some more.

Make shift pong table on the deck

Typical of MM

Blast from the past for playing pong... at least it wasn't Natty!

After some pong and showering we headed downstairs to do some grilling for dinner before heading back up to the deck for more drinking and just relaxing.  It was so nice to get to spend some quality time with some amazing friends.  We need to do stuff like this more often!

VM & I... so great she was visiting from AZ

MD & I

The weekend was obviously over way too fast and I was not ready to come home last night.  All I wanted to do was lounge around and listen to the lake while drinking beer on the deck.  MD and I have decided that one day when we have a bunch of money we are going to buy a condo or a townhouse or something on either the beach or a lake so that we can enjoy this type of relaxation more often!

What did you do this past weekend?