Wednesday, December 11, 2013

What Happened to the Mantra "If You Can't Say Something Nice, Don't Say Anything at All."?!

I finally have a day off, finally finished writing all of my wedding thank you notes and was all set to write a blog post about Part I of our Honeymoon in Paris.  But before writing my post I decided to catch up on reading some of my favorite blogs and came upon a post that made me rethink everything that I wanted to write today.  Instead of filling you all in on what happened during my honeymoon, I want to talk about something way more important... bullying.

When people think of bullying I feel like quite often they think of name calling, people being mean to each other, people picking on the "little guy" and things of that nature.  People think of bullying happening in school with children or in college with students being mean to one another.  But people, wake up... bullying is NOT something that only happens with children, adult bullying is a serious problem as well.  While bullying between children is often more physical than verbal/mental... adult bullying usually takes on more of a verbal form.  According to, "The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult.  They try to humiliate victims, and 'show them who is boss.'"  Often adult bullies were bullies as children or were bullied themselves as a child. Unfortunately it is hard to do things about adult bullies because well most people don't want to go down the road of taking legal action in order to make the bullying stop.  

Bullying has always taken on many forms... physical, mental, verbal, and now with all the forms of technology out there, "cyber bullying".  As of late I have come to realize that "cyber bullying" is a big issue.  

People take to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, their blogs, other people's blogs, text messages, emails, etc. to at times do nothing but trash talk each other and that is not okay.  These social media outlets while they can do so much good, can also do a lot of harm.  They can make people feel like lesser of a person, they can make people question their decisions, they can make people do crazy things.  I would like to believe that people will only use these things for good, but we all know that isn't true.  I know people will criticize me and say that if people put their life out there in the social media world that they are opening themselves up to to whatever anyone has to say about it... good or bad.  But... Whatever happened to the mantra "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."?!

Why do people feel the need to comment on a picture saying that someone is ugly? Why do people feel the need to comment on a blog post and tell someone that they are living their life in the wrong way? Why do people post statuses about others demeaning them?  When did the world become a place with so much cruelty?

I am not saying that I am above all of this.  I know there have been times where I have said things that I shouldn't have, and usually after I make those comments I immediately regret making them and wish I can take them back.  None of us are above "bullying" at times.  But what matter is what we do about it.  I have decided that starting today I am going to make sure that I remind someone daily of how special they are and how much they mean to me or others around me.  

Today I want to take the time to let Kaitlyn of Wifessionals know how much her blog has meant to me.  Kaitlyn wrote a blog post yesterday that broke my heart and is what prompted this post today.  From following her blog for the past 6 months or so I have formed an opinion of Kaitlyn that was nothing but positive and I was so hurt to read her post and find that she has been the victim of cyber bullying.  Kaitlyn has such a huge heart and is someone who I believe would do anything for her friends and those that she loves and cares about.  She is the one who started the amazing Cara Box exchange that I participate in.  She is mamma to a beautiful little girl.  She is a woman who cares about her friends and family so much.  She does not deserve to be going through what she is going through.  So today I am thanking Kaitlyn...

Kaitlyn, Thank you so much for all you have done for me.  Without realizing it you have helped me to make some amazing new friends through your Cara Box exchange that I probably never would have met otherwise.  You have made me feel more comfortable in the blogging world.  You have made me realize that it is ok to open up on my blog and talk about what I really feel.  Whether people criticize me or not, I am who I am and I will always try to remember that.  Thank you for being you.  Thank you for sharing your stories and for being an amazing mom and friend.  I wish you the best as you continue on the journey of life.  I am sure that God has some great things in store for you!  Please don't ever lose hope and know that although some people may want to bring you down, there are so many others that you have inspired to do great things. 

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