Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Post Bar Exam Disconnect

Since the bar exam I have felt really disconnected from almost every aspect of my life and I'm not sure why.  I should be feeling really connected to everything at this point in my life because I am no longer spending 8-12 hours a day studying, yet that isn't how I feel.  I feel almost like because of the bar exam I lost part of my life because I couldn't be around for people, so they just in a way forgot about me.  I know that is silly, but that's how I've been feeling.

Pre and post bar exam, about the only people I still feel connected to are the bf and my best friend CS.  It's hard for the bf and I to grow apart because well we live together and see each other every day even if it is only for a short amount of time.  I've hung out with my best group of girlfriends (KT, NS, JG, and SS) only once since taking the bar exam and have seen my other friends basically once (some of them twice) since the exam.  I also haven't been to NJ since Memorial Day weekend.  So this is leading me to feel disconnected from what my life was pre-bar exam.  But maybe this is supposed to happen...

Maybe post-bar exam I'm supposed to be immersing myself in the legal world and starting to associate with lawyers and not all of my amazing pre-law school friends.  But that doesn't seem like it is right or fair... does it?? I have heard rumors that people lose touch with everyone during law school, but I didn't think it would happen to me especially because a lot of my friends faithfully stood by my side during the hard times that came with being a law student.  So why is it now that I'm no longer a law student I feel as though my faithful friends are no longer by my side??

I know if my friends were reading this they would say that I am crazy and that they are all still here for me, but truth is, it just doesn't feel like that.  I wish I could make these feelings go away... but right now... I just can't...

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