So I didn't make it home to Jersey this weekend to see the family and I must admit, I was thoroughly depressed about that. Of course the bf tried to make me feel better, and it worked, but didn't. I was pretty much evil to him at first because well I didn't really want to spend any time with him if I wasn't spending time with him in NJ. He insisted that I get out of the house and dragged me (not quite kicking and screaming, but pretty close to it) to Booth's Corner (our local farmer's market). We walked around a bit and didn't get anything... not for his lack of trying. I shot down everything that we may or may not have needed to buy and was pretty grumpy the entire time we were there. But I was mad... I was mad that I was stuck walking around the local farmer's market instead of spending time with my family in NJ. He then proceeded to take the LONGEST drive home ever during which I refused to talk and refused to agree to any of the other ideas he had planned for the day (a picnic in the park, tennis, etc.)... all I wanted to do was stay at home and read and do nothing... after all, all I wanted to do was be in NJ and since I wasn't going to be there, I wasn't going to be a happy camper. I was a grump most of the day Saturday and although I wasn't feeling happy, I decided it would be easier to feign happiness instead of having the bf continue to harass me all weekend long.
Today wasn't too bad because although I do feel a little bit better, I'm still annoyed that I didn't get to spend my weekend in NJ, the bf wasn't on my case as much because I didn't seem like a gloom and doom kind of girl. We actually spent some quality time together today... grocery shopping and then working on a puzzle together. Maybe it was just doing those normal every day tasks together that helped make me feel a little better, or maybe it was the fact that I talked to my parents every day since Wednesday, but I do feel a bit better. I also have to give the bf credit for trying all weekend to make me feel like my old self, even though for the most part I wasn't being receptive to his efforts and in fact think I may have done everything in my power to ignore them for at least most of the day on Saturday.
I guess I did that because part of me was mad at him because he didn't want to go to NJ with me even though I had told him how homesick I was. I understand that it would be putting a bunch more miles on his car and that he's been doing a lot of driving recently, and that he'll be driving next weekend when we go to the Poconos... but it still didn't stop me from being annoyed. I haven't been home since Memorial Day and haven't seen my family since the 4th of July. For those of you who know me, you KNOW that's unheard of for me... I am usually home once a month if not more if I can swing it. So this is a huge switch for me. We've actually been out to visit his family more than we've been to see mine recently, which is just different. I mean don't get me wrong, I LOVE his family, but they aren't my family. I need my family, especially when I'm feeling down like this. And now it doesn't look like we'll be able to get up to NJ until sometime in Sept, which really has me bugging.... that means it'll be probably close to 4 months before being home in NJ and 3 months since I've seen my family. I know that other people go way longer without seeing their family, take one of my best friends, C, for example... her family is a plane ride away and she really only sees them at holidays or special family events, and she doesn't complain. I guess I should feel lucky that I get to see my family so often and get to go home often too. But for me it's still not enough. I'll always be a Jersey girl at heart and need trip to Jersey to keep me sane.
*fingers crossed* I can get to Jersey soon!