Today one of my best friends called me a domestic goddess. I know she meant no harm by it, and was pretty much kidding with me, but it got me thinking... is it true? Since taking the bar exam I seem to have dedicated my life to cleaning, cooking, and doing laundry. I almost feel like I went to law school and instead of coming out with a JD I came out with my MRS degree. Is this what life post law school is going to be like?
I feel silly because one of the highlights of my day today was the fact that I now have a completely clean toaster oven and microwave in my kitchen. I rearranged some stuff, pulled everything out and cleaned pretty much everything (except the stove and the bottle collection above the cabinets... didn't feel like tackling that today). It feels so good to know that I have a kitchen that is now clean by my standards... not boy standards (sorry Mark, I love you, but your idea of clean is NOT my idea of clean). Does this make me a domestic goddess? Am I destined to be a wife at home instead of being a kick butt lawyer like I always thought?
I think part of the problem is that I tried to look for entry level attorney jobs again today, only to find out that there are NONE out there. It's really depressing. I have loans that come due in a few short months and I still have NO idea when I'm going to get a real job. What if I didn't pass the bar exam? My chances of getting a job then are SHOT. I spent 10 weeks studying my butt off for this exam and to think that I might not pass and might end up being a housewife makes me CRAZYYYYY! I mean sure being a housewife is for some girls, but it's not for me. I've always been ambitious and have wanted a career... and I don't want to give that up... I don't think.
Sure I've enjoyed being home at times, but a lot of time I get bored (hence starting this blog). Having so much time leads me to think about a lot and that might drive me crazy. I need to find a job, any type of job... do I go back to working at Fridays? do I get a job in retail? What to do, what to do....