A Lifetime of Friendships

Once in a while you find girls who you know are going to be your friends for life.  They are the type of people who no matter how much or how little you talk to each other, you can always pick up right where you left off.  They are the ones who despite job changes, moving thousands of miles away, moving back home, getting married, having kids, and overall having life get in the way... they are the ones you know that you can always count on and that they will always be there for you.  They are the friends you know you can call at 2am when you life is falling apart or the ones you can call at 11pm to let them know that you are finally engaged.  They are the ones that you can't wait to share all the good and bad that life has to offer with.  Some people are lucky to find one or two of those girlfriends throughout their lives... I have been blessed to find a not only one or two of those kinds of girlfriends, but rather a few groups of them. I was reminded of this multiple times this week as finally I was able to find the time to hang out with some of my favorite ladies in the entire world, plus catch up via text message (and make plans to actually see) some of the others.

When I get to hang out with and talk to so many of these ladies I am reminded of how friendships come in all different styles.  I am also reminded of the fact that I truly do have some of the most amazing friends in the world, who I don't know what I would do without.  I know for some of them we may not talk as often as we would like, and definitely don't get to see each other as often as we would like... but I know that through thick and thin they will ALWAYS be there for me.

Since I am being all nostalgic today, I want to take a little time to thank all of my lifelong friends for all they have done for me over time!

You know someone is your lifelong friend when you have been friends since first grade and to this day still consider the other to be one of your best friends.

AW and I have officially been friends for about 24 of our 30 years on this planet.  We met in first grade and became friends almost by design.  Our parents had similar values... put us in the same organized sports, made us both join the Daisy Scouts and even ironically enough made us take swimming lessons with the same crazy marine.  As we got older and our lives took slightly different paths we always found our way back to each other.  In fact in high school we even had the same exact schedule one year with the exception of a couple of classes... and when we weren't in the same class our teachers would still think we were the other person.  Despite going to different colleges and following our post-college dreams, AW has always been someone I have known I can confide in.  We were friends during some of the best and worst times of our lives and despite everything our friendship has never faltered.  Sure we can go long periods of time without talking to each other because of our crazy schedules, but when we do finally get to see each other it is like we never ever lost touch.  I am so looking forward to being able to hopefully see her next week when I am at my parent's house in NJ for my dad's surgery.  And if I don't get to see her next week, I know we have an entire weekend away together coming up at the end of July and for that I am super excited!

You know someone is a lifelong friend when most of your friendship has been long distance and most of it has consisted of talking via AIM, MySpace, e-mail, Facebook, text message and sometimes actually phone calls.

CW and I have been friends since I guess about our freshman year of high school.  We met through a mutual friend when CW was already living in Florida.  I am honestly not even 100% sure why we started talking, but once we did, we never stopped.  CW actually grew up probably about a mile from my parent's house, but because she lived in Hillsdale and I lived in River Vale, we never actually got the pleasure of knowing each other. We became closer our sophomore year of high school despite an unfortunate situation that I wish had never happened, BUT I am thankful that it brought the two of us closer together.  CW and I definitely don't get to see each other nearly as often as we would like... but we make it happen when we can.  I talk to this girl pretty much every day and I don't know what I would do without her in my life.  We tell each other everything, much to our husband's chagrin... but we don't care.  Our friendship proves that even if you have never lived near each other a friendship can endure the distance as I think the closest we have ever lived is when I was in law school in DE and CW was working on her master's at Penn State State College... and even then we were living hundreds of miles apart!

You know someone is your lifelong friend when despite the fact that you are sorority sisters, you feel like you are actually sisters.

VM and I have been friends since our freshman year of Bucknell and became even better friends when we both decided to pledge the same sorority.  And I'm not going to lie, knowing that VM was pledging Chi Omega was one of the reasons I decided that I was definitely going to pledge as well.  VM and I were pretty much always together in college... living across the hall from each other or living a few doors down from each other.  And you could pretty much always find us getting ready to go out together and then actually going out together.  She is the friend who introduced me to the guy who would eventually be my husband.  We have shared a ton of good times along with some not so good times throughout our friendship, but through it all one thing has always remained... we have always been able to count on each other.  VM is another one of those friends where I know that even if we haven't talked in a while we can pick up right where we left off.  She is always up for an impromptu phone date or even dinner date when I had to go to Maryland for work!  Time spent catching up with each other is never long enough.  I am really hoping that we get to see each other in a couple of weeks for our annual lake trip!

You know someone is your lifetime friend when you are sorority sisters who weren't friends in college and can't figure out why because now you can't imagine your life without that person.

AV and I met in college when we both joined Chi Omega, but for some reason we never really became friends.  When AV moved to the suburbs of Philly I reached out to her because I remembered what it felt like to move to a new place where I didn't really know that many people.  From the first time we hung out after she moved here I realized that I had missed out on getting to know a fabulous girl when I was in college.  Since becoming closer we have both been in each others weddings; have had countless dinners and parties together with our husbands and friends; I had the honor of being responsible for picking up the cake for her gender reveal party along with the envelope containing the baby's gender; I have been able to celebrate the birth of their daughter and even Little Miss L's 1st birthday.  AV and her husband were also the only ones (besides my parents) who knew that Mark was going to propose to me and AV even kept it a secret when she was taking pain pills after having surgery and I visited her and was stressing over the fact that I didn't know if Mark was ever going to propose.  She was the one who told me that if he didn't get his act together and if I thought I needed a break that I could come live with her so I didn't have to move home.  Post-Bucknell this girl has been there for me through thick and thin and I can't imagine life without her!

You know someone is your lifetime friend when your little brother breaks up with them and they still are a bridesmaid in your wedding and you still talk to them pretty much all the time.

SP and I became friends when she was dating my little brother.  They dated for about three years during which time she became a huge part of my life.  She was the little sister I had always wanted. Then my brother broke up with her and I am not going to lie I was nervous about what that would do for our friendship.  Though I had told SP that I would completely understand if she no longer could be a part of my wedding, I secretly hoped that she would decide that she still wanted to be there.  Of course she did decide that she wanted to be a part of our day and that despite everything we were going to remain friends.  SP was actually the first person to know that Mark and I had gotten engaged, and that in and of itself really made me want her to be a part of our day.  Through it all if it is possible I think the two of us have gotten closer and I truly do think of her as the sister that I never had.  We spend time together whenever we can... going to hockey games, meeting up for meals, hanging out at home, etc.  I talk to this girl pretty much all the time and am so thankful that we have continued to be a part of each others' lives.  I so can't wait for a weekend away with this lady at the lake in a couple of weeks!!

You know someone is your lifetime friend when you survive law school together and are STILL friends.

RC and I met my last year of law school when we were in the Delaware Civil Clinic together.  Spending so much time together in our little clinic room we became great friends... giving each other advice, talking about wedding planning (she was engaged at the time... I wasn't), talking about our family, talking about pretty much everything.  She was the one who hung out with me on the day I found out that I didn't pass the Delaware Bar Exam... stopping to pick up dinner before coming over to hang out with me because Mark had to go to work and I was so upset and just didn't want to be alone.  We have been a part of each others' lives for our weddings... her first baby girl and her second baby on the way... birthday celebrations and more!  RC is another one of those friends that no matter how much life can get in the way we always find a way to get to see each other and when we do it is like not a day has passed without us talking.

You know a group of girls are your lifetime friends when they are the first friends you make when you move to a  new place... and then they remain your friend and you are even in each others' weddings.

This picture is what started all of this reminiscing about some of the amazing women I have in my life.  Although KT wasn't able to make it for breakfast, she was definitely there in spirit.  NS, JM, SS, EO, and KT were the first people I became friends with when I moved down this way for law school.  I remember being in a new place and thinking that I hated it down here because I had Mark, but that was about it.  Then I started working at Friday's where I met JG, NS and KT and realized that maybe life down here wouldn't be so bad.  KT then introduced us all to SS and EO and from then on we were an amazing group of friends.  From themed dinners together (remember our Twilight themed cooking escapade?!), to nights out in Trolley, to handstands outside of Fridays, to rolling down the side of 95, to body shots, to Phillies games, to snow days, to girls' nights in... times with these girls are always full of laughs.  Despite the fact that NS has moved all the way across the country and JM is getting ready to move South... one thing has remained... these girls are some of the best girlfriends I could have ever dreamed of having.  I never would have survived down here had I not met them and I am pretty sure I would have moved back home to NJ had it not been for them! 

You know a group of girls are your lifetime friends when you become friends through work, but stay friends through all the promotions, store changes, and all around drama that can surround work.

SC, MO, AF and I became friends through work... probably because for the longest time we all worked the same exact days.  Literally when we were servers we rotated through spots 1-4 and then when SC and I became bartenders we pretty much worked all of our shifts together and then once AF got on the bar we worked all of our shifts with her as well.  These girls have helped me regain my sanity after tough shifts... they have been there to help me stay sane during tough shifts.  Without these girls I never would have survived the restaurant life for as long as I have.  These ladies were some of the first people to know that Mark and I were engaged because when I couldn't get anyone on the phone I obviously called work because I knew they would be working. These girls always seem to understand what I am going through when life gets me down and I know I can always count on them to help pick me back up.  Every year I look forward to our annual KOP shopping trip in December... actually I look forward to ANY time I get to spend with these girls.  Due to work schedules we definitely don't get to see each other as often as we would like, but we make it happen whenever we can.  Whether it is impromptu afternoon lunch dates, drinks before work, Flyers games, Phillies games, or whatever, I know it will always be a good time with these girls.  I can't wait until Mark and I get a house because these girls were some of the first to volunteer to help me get the house in order... and by get the house in order they volunteered to bring the wine to celebrate the new house! 

Friendship definitely comes in all shapes and sizes and I am seriously the luckiest girl in the world to have so many great girlfriends who I know I can always count on.  To all my ladies mentioned in this post... my life would seriously not be the same without you and I am so thankful to know that you will all be my lifelong friends!  XOXO

Do you have any friends who you know will be your life long friends?

Life Lately

Recently I have been struggling.  Sure when I blog it may seem like my life is all sunshine and roses, but I assure you, that is NOT the case.  Recently I have been struggling.  Sure you may think my life is all flowers and sunshine (especially if you follow my Instagram) because I post pictures like these of my gorgeous flowers I just planted:

or of the fabulous beer can chicken the hubby and I made for dinner on Saturday night...

or my yummy alcoholic beverages....

But in reality, life has been tough recently.  Tough because I went on a job interview and the one woman I interviewed with told me that had my resume come across her desk without my husband's recommendation she would have thrown it in the trash without a second thought.  She told me I was too overqualified for the job in which I was applying and that basically because of my education no employer would ever consider me for an entry level job.  She told me I needed to find a way to "dumb down" my resume or I will never get anywhere in the corporate world.  Talk about a blow to one's self-esteem... the one thing I am most proud of, my education, is what could potentially be holding me back from getting a job... how is that even possible?!

Don't worry though friends, even though this got me down, it doesn't mean that I am down for the count.  After hearing this I decided to take matters into my own hands and made an appointment to discuss my resume with someone from Bucknell.  I am happy to report that after an hour long phone conversation today I have a completely revamped resume and a new plan for how I am going to go about looking for a job.  To say that Bucknell's Career Development Center has been amazing would be an understatement.  They have been WAYYYY more helpful to me than my law school has and I am so grateful that I went to such an amazing undergraduate institution that cares so much about not only its students, but also its alumnae!  After today I am confident that I will find a job and I will get myself started down a career path that will carry me on through the rest of my life.

Besides the whole job thing, I have also been struggling a bit with my personal life.  About a month ago I got the text that one of my ex-bffs had her first child.  As happy as I was to see that she had a beautiful, happy, healthy baby, the text also made me incredibly sad and in fact made me cry.  You see, since our huge falling out this is only the second major life event that I have not been able to share with her.  We had been friends since right before our freshman year of high school... we were there for each other through graduations, breakups, engagements, her wedding, etc.  I had always thought that she would be one of my life long friends and that we would end up having kids who would be best friends (even though we live a million miles apart).  I would have dropped pretty much anything to be there for this girl and it just hurt so much to realize that it isn't the case anymore.  I found out she was pregnant through another mutual friend, found out she had the baby though a mutual friend, etc.  Sure it is great that our mutual friends let me know what is going on in her life because no matter what she thinks I will always care about her, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I have thought about reaching out to her to say congrats, but I don't want her to take it the wrong way and to think that I am doing this just to ruin this special time in her life.  Because that really is the last thing that I want to do.  Having a child, especially your first, is supposed to be a joyous occasion and I do NOT want to ruin that for her, but I do want her to know that I am happy for her and that I truly only wish her and her little family the best.  So I am torn about what to do... do I send her a quick text message or e-mail saying congrats, or do I just leave well enough alone?  Who knows, she might think that her life is better off without me, although I am not sure that mine is better off without her because I do still miss her friendship.  I still remember all the good times that we had together and it is pretty much impossible to erase her from my life. 

I recently stumbled upon this Facebook status I had made a year or so ago (thank you TimeHop App for my phone) and it really makes me think about this friendship gone bad.  Was she meant to be in my entire life, or was she just meant to make an appearance?  Seeing as we had been friends since about 1999 it makes me feel as though she was supposed to be in my entire life, but who knows, maybe 14 years is all our friendship was meant to last.  Whatever the case may be, it still hurts and I still don't know what to do.  Do I reach out to her and hope for the best? Or do I just leave well enough alone?

What has been going on in your life lately?  Have you ever had a situation where a friendship went sour and you didn't know if/how to fix it? 

Girlfriends

I have never really been a girl to have a ton of girlfriends (which I'm sure you wouldn't guess from some of my previous posts).  Sure I have a bunch of friends who are girls, but I've never been one to have a ton of really close girlfriends.  Then I joined a sorority when I was in college (see this post for a little bit about what my sorority means to me) and I realized that it was possible to have a bunch of good girlfriends.  As I continue through what has become a rocky point in my life, I have started to think that I need to reevaluate some of my friendships with some of my so-called girlfiends and "best friends".

The reason I never had a lot of close girlfriends was because I realized at a fairly young age (or rather in middle school) how cruel girls can be.  When I was younger I had what I thought were 3 really amazing best friends, but then at the drop of a hat 2 (notice I say just 2, because I am actually still super close with 1 of the 3... like over 20 years later) of them just turned on me.  Like turned on my to the point that they asked for the part of the best friends necklace we had together back from me, and when I said that it was wrong of them to do that I found theirs on my locker the next morning.  I'm pretty sure that scarred me for a long time and was the reason that I never wanted to form too many close bonds with the girls in my life.

Fast forward to high school, where once again I had a bunch of friends who were girls, but I never really seemed to let my guard down enough to form a bond to have a bunch of true girlfriends.  In high school I felt like I didn't really fit in with any group of girls either because well a) I was a cheerleader and b) I was in all honors/AP classes... the combination of the two makes it really hard for a teen to figure out who they are and where they belong because I didn't think I fit in with either group really well.  Although, not gonna lie, I definitely did fit in better with the kids in the honors/AP classes...but it was still strange.

Then I went to college and decided to rush a sorority.  For the first time in a long time I realized that not all women are cruel, not all women are out to get you, and that it was possible to have a few really good girlfriends.  Surprisingly enough, joining a sorority also helped me to cultivate a few friendships with girls that I was close with in high school, but had never really let into my life (cultivated so much so that I am invited to both of their weddings, and am even in one of them!)

Which brings me to the point of this post... although I have managed to find a bunch of really great girlfriends, I feel like I am growing apart from some of them... I feel like I don't know them anymore and like I don't understand why they are doing what they are doing.  I feel like we don't make an effort to talk like we used to... ok, scratch that, I feel like I am still trying to make an effort to talk to them, but that they don't return the effort.  I don't know if this is just a bump in our friendship, or if this is life's way of saying that it was good while it lasted, but that we aren't meant to be bffs for life. I don't know if I am feeling like this because I am super stressed out or if there is really something going on.

Am I overreacting?  I would say I would try to talk to some of these "friends", but let's face it, I've tried and have gotten no where.  What is a girl to do?

Weddings, Babies, Engagements...

... 2012 is going to be quite a year....

Yesterday I received my 3rd "Save the Date" for a 2012 wedding... yup, that's right, my 3rd.  For some of you that might not seem like a lot, but when there is most likely one more on the way then yeah, 3 save the dates is a lot.

One of the weddings I am in.  It is the wedding between my best friend from college/twin in my sorority, VG, and WM my bf's son in his fraternity.  Their wedding will be the first of 2012 and will be bringing all of us back to good old Bucknell!  Needless to say I am excited for my first Bucknell wedding that is actually at Bucknell!

VG & her fiance WM

VG & I the last time we got to hang out together!

Another one of the weddings is for one of my friends from HS.  I have to admit I was a bit shocked to receive the save the date for this one, because although we were close, I feel like we have lost touch over the years which makes me sad.  I am however honored that KJ has invited me to her wedding... especially since it is to her HS Sweetheart KD.  I always thought that these two would get married one day... even when they were out there dating other people... for some reason I just knew that they would end up together.  I can't wait for their special day!

KJ & I out in NJ a couple of summers ago

The last one we got was for my neighbor from across the street who was always like a little sister to me.  I can't believe that she is all grown up and getting married... seems like just yesterday I was over at their house "babysitting" her and her siblings.  

Neighborhood "Siblings"... KM, the one standing next to me, is the one getting married

Then of course this weekend I have my first baby shower of 2012.  I can't believe that I have friends that are having babies now too!

What really brought about this post is because one of my Jersey best friends, AP, got engaged last night and she apologized for it when she told me.  Yes, you read that right, she apologized. And that makes me feel like a horrible person.  I know why she apologized... because she knows I have been down about the fact that MD & I have been together for what seems forever, and we're not engaged yet.  But I feel like a horrible friend just based on the fact that she was supposed to be happy and yet here she was worried about my feelings and how I would react.  I know AP and I have had our differences at times... and we've also lost touch at times... but I think the fact that she was worried about my feelings speaks volumes about our friendship and makes me realize that she truly is an amazing friend (I mean I already knew that, but it confirmed what I already knew).  Of course I am THRILLED for her... she has wanted this for a while too... and I am so happy that she already asked me to be a part of her wedding!  This is what Jersey besties are for!  AP, if you are reading this I can't wait to hopefully help you out as you plan the PERFECT NJ/NYC wedding!!!!! :)

Jersey Besties :) 

AP & her now fiance CC

We've  been friends for a longggg time!

Hanging out at Bucknell my Senior Year

Love this girl!

But at the same time I feel like a horrible friend, because as happy as I am for her, I am also a little sad and wondering a bit about when it is going to be my time.  I know the saying that "Good things come to those who wait." and that God has a plan for all of us and that things are going to happen when they are meant to happen... but every time I hear about someone else getting engaged it makes me wonder if/when it will ever happen to me.  I know that may sound shallow and selfish... but the reality of it is I'm tired of people asking me when we're going to get married, I'm tired of people asking if we are going to get married before they die, I'm tired of people giving us that look that says "You've been living together for 4 years now, what is going on?!"... I'm really tired of it all.

Am I wrong for how I am feeling?